100 days and we are still in Level 3. With so little information provided by the government, it’s no wonder people are disregarding any sort of rules. Going out into public spaces, it’s like nothing has changed: no masks, no social distancing, people gathering in groups. It makes you wonder whether all the rules should just be abandoned and whoever survives, survives. At least that would allow people to go back to work, stop people from dying from starvation and suicides, and prevent hundreds more businesses from collapsing.

I read the reports on how the virus has mutated and wonder how epidemiologists will be able to keep up. I read the reports of people starving in our informal settlements and wonder how the so-called politicians can calmly continue their rotten ways. And when the occasional government report does come out, we all wonder how correct or current it is.

And then I look at everything going to hell in a handbasket in the States and see how different – yet the same – it all is. Here in South Africa, politics play a huge part of the disconnect, but here it’s also huge cultural disconnects, with (I’m trying to be politically correct here but don’t think I can be) the local population generally being less educated and susceptible to cultural influences and beliefs. One of the big beliefs here is that the virus is a white person’s disease and won’t affect the black people. Government statistics don’t specify race in the COVID reports, which of course, allows beliefs like this to spread. And in the more rural areas (in US terms, off-the-grid areas) some people are still unaware of the pandemic.

It’s all very frustrating which leads me to a rough idea of my next moves.

Last week, I bought my ticket back to California. Emirates is advertising that it will start flying from Johannesburg in September (maybe they know something we don’t, as there is no word about international opening up). I had to buy the ticket before June 30 to qualify for free changes and it’s good for 24 months. Just having the ticket gave me some peace of mind, although I don’t have a clue when I will be able to use it! Watching for repatriation flights and trying to justify the huge ticket prices was really stressful and am glad that is off my mind now.

This led me to really thinking about whether - and when - I really want to go back. First off, into the pandemic mess that is decimating California, and second, whether I want to go back into winter. Because although I will have my car, depending on the time of year, heading north to Washington could be an issue, with closed mountain passes. And also, Jim and Mardelle go away for 4 months over winter and the last thing I need is to be isolated in the northern cold and dark in a place that is only worth being in (in my opinion) during the summer! Staying in California really isn’t a choice for me anyway, as it is just way to expensive.

So…

A couple of days ago, I put out a request on our school group WhatsApp group, asking if anyone knew of something like a long-term Airbnb that could be available. And got an immediate response from one of the girls. A granny cottage in their garden, which they don’t normally rent out because of their dogs, but they know how much I love the animals and that I will be very careful of open gates etc. It’s in an area I’m familiar with and much closer to Durban and other friends. I’m going to see it this coming week and am hopeful it will work out. If it doesn’t, I can look elsewhere.

Making any decisions or choices in this crazy world is difficult as we just don’t know what direction the world will turn. I think, for me, this is one of the hardest parts of the lockdown: the unknowing. It takes away any sense of purpose and I feel like I am just treading water…waiting for something, anything. And maybe this potential move is just me making things happen so I don’t feel so untethered and caught between a rock and a hard spot.