There are so many factors going into making a decision like I have to make.

When I came over to South Africa in October, it was with the express purpose of finding out if my old home could be my “forever home.” Sort of like taking a stray dog from the shelter and making sure it was happy, safe and secure in an environment that would nurture it for the rest of its life!

The first two months I spent with family, so to me that doesn’t count towards living a “real life,” in my own place etc. Now it’s been three months since I moved into the granny flat, living here as a resident, not as a tourist. And I’ve made a point of just being here, not gallivanting off exploring, but being present, being here. Living what I think is a “normal” life, seeing friends, doing the shopping, working a bit, all the things that add up to what is a regular life, which mostly fit all my requirements.

But… and there are several great big buts.

First is the actual country of South Africa, its decline and instability. As I see the country that I love, decline, and the chaos surrounding the government, I fear that things will implode in the very near future.

Here comes the second but. I hate to admit it, but my age is becoming a deciding factor on where I find a permanent home.

Eighteen months ago, it was hard enough making the decision to come here. And I had high expectations and high hopes about how it would work. I had a positive view of the country and what it is trying to achieve (at some level) and I still do. There is a huge amount of good happening below the surface, but with the broken government, the positive movement is eclipsed and stymied.

And a big factor that contributed to me coming back was that South Africa has always been home to me, so there was familiarity. It was not a complete unknown.

However, I know how draining and exhausting it was to make the decision and move and as another year goes by, things get more taxing to accomplish. I’m very fortunate to be in excellent health, but have to admit that the thought of relocating again is daunting and if I were to stay and the country implodes, moving when I am that much older will be even more difficult. And a big part of the moving, is the l-o-n-g flights between here and the States. When I was younger, I’d bounce back in a couple days, jet lag gone. But now? It took me a week this last time to recover.

Now I know that while looking for a roost, besides cost of living, weather and safety, I need to add government stability and proximity to the States to my requirements.

So I’ve made the decision to leave South Africa at the end of May and head back to the States, at least for a few months.

In the next three months, before I leave, besides researching locations that tick all the boxes, I’m planning on being more of a tourist, finances allowing. Game reserves, Garden Route, and anything else that pops up, like taking a distilling course. It would be more fun, of course, if I had someone to do the trips with, but (and this is something else that hasn’t worked out as I had hoped) it will mostly just be me, flying solo.

And if something miraculous happens, then I always have the option of changing my mind and staying here, or returning after re-assessing back in the US.

Heading out now to buy a lottery ticket!