Today is the first day after the second round of chemo. It’s starting out pretty much like the first day after the first round, with no real side effects, just tired and this time a little bit fuzzy or feeling a bit out of balance. But nothing major at all.

But because of my experience after the first round, and if the nasties kick in on the third day, I will go down to Jules in Durban and Biff is there too, now so that’s fun although I’ll probably just be sleeping. But I don’t know how it will affect me this second round.

It was a very long session. The new medication, Avastin, was added in so it added two hours to the treatment. I got a lot of reading done. But I had hoped to take Biff and Jules to lunch, courtesy of Betsy, but it got so late we will do it another day.

The chemo from last time appears to be working. The blood work came back improved, no worries there so we keep going. Dr. McCleave kept the same ratios of Chemo medications as the first one and just added in the Avastin which is supposed to starve the tumor. It comes highly recommended apparently, and it should as it is extremely expensive.

But that’s where I am very fortunate because my medical insurance is kicking in and I have what is known as gap insurance which picks up the balance, including co-pays. So it’s a no brainer for me and I have no concerns or stress about the finances around all this. 

What’s interesting too, is that when I look at the numbers in South African rand I just about had a heart attack and then I converted to US dollars and it really is very doable and I am getting the very best care and medication. I doubt if I could have got this, or anything close to this, in the states.

There’s one thing that I am finding very curious. I’ve heard horror stories of people going through chemo. And how awful everything is and how awful life is. I’m finding, and maybe I’m an anomaly, that yes, it's physically uncomfortable, feeling sort of under the weather. But from what I’ve heard and read, people get terribly depressed and down and lose hope. And I seem to surprise people that I’m not, and I am keeping on keeping on.

Sure, this is not a pleasant place to be, but there is so much help to be had, from the doctors and nurses and the medications,  to all the friends and family who have rallied round. Maybe the negatives will show up later, I hope they don’t! Sure, sometimes it’s boring sitting here, not feeling like doing much, but there’s always somebody I can phone or have coffee with or just text. So I can’t really see myself falling into the pit that I hear people do disappear into.

I’d like to think that I’m not unusual, and will continue on the path that I am on, feeling grateful and appreciative of all the people in my life and what I have available to make my life good, like the medical facilities and people I have access to, to get through all this.

Covid, of course, has made things a lot more difficult, with not so much the lockdowns now, but a fear of being around too many people and in enclosed areas, as I am now one of those people with a compromised immune system. I’m careful where I go, going to the grocery store early when there are very few people around, and if I’m going to a restaurant, I make sure we are sitting outside, which of course we can do here a lot more because it’s summer, and we live outdoors here. And because I still find that I get very tired by the afternoon, if I'm going to do anything that day, I do it in the morning and then come home and just veg!

I basically have no hair now, and yesterday I took my scissors and lopped off all the spiky bits, so now I just have barely an inch fluffing around my head. But I did wear a scarf for the first time yesterday and as it was just to the Chemo lounge, I didn’t feel quite so conspicuous, as there were others there with weird headgear. But I have to practice tying them. 

We had hoped to have a scarf tying workshop at Woza Moya that had to be cancelled as, unfortunately there were too many Covid cases at the center. I’ve watched some YouTube videos, which is helpful, and I expect I will get over feeling like such a klutz trying to do them.

I am not a hat person so I have to get used to wearing something on my head all the time. I’ll probably go naked at home! But will have to cover up when I go out, I suppose.

We had a sad event here at the house last week. One of the lovely Rhodesian Ridgeback‘s had to be put down. Jackie was almost 14, which is old for a big dog like that. It was very sad though, she was having trouble getting around. She was here with me one morning and slipped on the tile floor and couldn’t get up. I could see in her eyes, that she was tired and ready to go. I talk to her as I waited for Lonnie to come and help me get her up, telling her that it was OK to just go to sleep and it was time for her. But she didn’t listen! And that was when they knew for sure that it was time. The vet came here to the house and it was a very peaceful passing, with Zoey, the other big girl sitting in with us. Jackie just went to sleep and she’s buried in the garden under the mango tree.

Last weekend, Biff and Jules picked me up and we went up to see Mick and Debbi and have a sort of Christmas lunch. It was fun because they had decided they didn’t want to cook and had simply got all sorts of cold meat, salads, cheeses, biscuits and crackers and fun stuff and laid it all out on the table on the veranda and we grazed. 

What wasn’t much fun was going out to see the factory, which had been burned and looted in the July insurrection. And of course they are fighting to get the insurance money. At one stage there was light at the end of that tunnel but then it fell apart and they are back at square one. It was very sad and very depressing to see. So we can only hope that the insurance will come through and they will be relieved of all that misery.

I know it’s going to be a very different Christmas and holiday season for everybody. I hope everyone is able to enjoy themselves, however we can, even though it’s not necessarily the way we want to be living.

This too shall pass!