With the Russian madman causing mayhem in the world, I am really trying to maintain a positive outlook.
The war news is dominating and it’s difficult to avoid. But am very aware of how my mental health can affect my physical health, so I am attempting (and so far succeeding) to limit my news watching/viewing. I look at just enough to get a very superficial overview but even that is more than I want. I feel so sad for all the people affected by this megalomaniac!
Time flies by, even the chemo treatments. Yesterday was #5 of the planned 6. The results of my blood tests continue to be good. The cancer marker went from 301 to 187 this week. But not low enough to move on to the next stage. Dr. McCleave said they want to see it at around 30 which is quite a long way yet.
When I came back to South Africa in 2019, I naturally gravitated to where I was born and grew up. And actually ended up in the what we used to call the village of Kloof. (It’s no longer a village!) Kloof is about 18 miles/29km from Durban and just on 1600ft/500km above sea level, giving the area a more moderate climate than Durban, usually being a good 10F less which was the case when I took Rodney to the park this afternoon. Plus less humid.
The fourth treatment went as planned. Mick came with me so he was able to meet my doctor. It’s always good to have another set of ears in a consultation but this one was very straightforward because everything is going so well.
November 16 last year is the fateful day I got the definitive news that changed my life.
By then I ‘d been in hospital for 8 days going through tests and everything else that goes along with a cancer diagnosis. I’d just had laparoscopic surgery for a biopsy and the GYN/surgeon came to visit me after I had very gently been given the diagnosis. He’s a lovely man and from reading his bio, a pretty religious one as well. He said to me as he sat at my bedside, “Have you considered end of life?”
Remember there’s the old song “500 Miles” by Peter, Paul and Mary? Well, I’m flying 11,494 miles, not to a lost love, but to get a COVID vaccination in California. Because if I stay here in South Africa I might be waiting until next year - or even maybe for ever - as the rollout has barely started here. I was planning to go back in June, anyway, so I just brought it forward a month.
With just 4 weeks til I leave, I’m slowly putting plans in place. Well, actually mostly planning and figuring where and when I will be anywhere!
First week is completely sorted! Quarantine at Betsy and Barry’s! My vaccine shot and from there, probably south to San Diego for a few days to see Georgia before heading north - in increments. I’ll probably spend considerable time in Washington before going east to Montana.
After the months and months of lockdown, the enforced isolation, the loneliness and boredom, the past few days have been wonderful, breathing whole new life into me. I feel like a new person!
My little 3-day trip with Mick and Debbie to Mtunzini up the North Coast, in the “old days” wouldn’t have been so highly anticipated! Of course, I love being with Mick and Debbie but it wasn’t an earth-shattering event back then. But now? It felt like the whole world was opening up again (which of course it isn’t, at least not here!).
Damn, these are such weird times…
COVID numbers appear to be going down all around the world; a good thing! Yet I feel stagnant. Like I should be jumping up and down as that means I can go back to see family and friends in the States. But as simple as that sounds, it just seems there are so many hurdles to get over, not the least is the inaction and chaos surrounding the vaccine rollout here.
The COVID numbers here are going down, but whether they will stay down is the question!
But it does feel different this time, or maybe it’s just me.
The last few weeks have been really difficult. Fighting off the feelings of being stuck, the isolation as friends retreated, the ineffective vaccine rollout and…what I realize is lack of anything creative in my life. For that, of course, I only have myself to blame.
