With the Russian madman causing mayhem in the world, I am really trying to maintain a positive outlook.
The war news is dominating and it’s difficult to avoid. But am very aware of how my mental health can affect my physical health, so I am attempting (and so far succeeding) to limit my news watching/viewing. I look at just enough to get a very superficial overview but even that is more than I want. I feel so sad for all the people affected by this megalomaniac!
Time flies by, even the chemo treatments. Yesterday was #5 of the planned 6. The results of my blood tests continue to be good. The cancer marker went from 301 to 187 this week. But not low enough to move on to the next stage. Dr. McCleave said they want to see it at around 30 which is quite a long way yet.
When I came back to South Africa in 2019, I naturally gravitated to where I was born and grew up. And actually ended up in the what we used to call the village of Kloof. (It’s no longer a village!) Kloof is about 18 miles/29km from Durban and just on 1600ft/500km above sea level, giving the area a more moderate climate than Durban, usually being a good 10F less which was the case when I took Rodney to the park this afternoon. Plus less humid.
The fourth treatment went as planned. Mick came with me so he was able to meet my doctor. It’s always good to have another set of ears in a consultation but this one was very straightforward because everything is going so well.
November 16 last year is the fateful day I got the definitive news that changed my life.
By then I ‘d been in hospital for 8 days going through tests and everything else that goes along with a cancer diagnosis. I’d just had laparoscopic surgery for a biopsy and the GYN/surgeon came to visit me after I had very gently been given the diagnosis. He’s a lovely man and from reading his bio, a pretty religious one as well. He said to me as he sat at my bedside, “Have you considered end of life?”
Time flies by, even the chemo treatments. Yesterday was #5 of the planned 6. The results of my blood tests continue to be good. The cancer marker went from 301 to 187 this week. But not low enough to move on to the next stage. Dr. McCleave said they want to see it at around 30 which is quite a long way yet.
I really don’t even know where to start with this. It’s been a while since I posted, almost 6 weeks and so much has happened. So I’ll just jump right in.
This whole past year, from way before I headed to the States in May, I’ve been plagued with little, niggling health issues, none of which made sense or seemed associated with any other. I thought I was maybe becoming a hypochondriac, or imagining the awful reflux, the debilitating fatigue and trouble breathing and other inconsistent, niggling issues and never considered tying them together. There was just too much to do to be slowed down by any of it.
Making decisions is not easy and it’s taken me a while to actually nail it down. this decision has been particularly difficult as it really affects the rest of my life. Since I arrived in late May, with the express purpose of getting vaccinated, the idea of going back to South Africa or finding somewhere closer to here to live comfortably, has been first and foremost in my mind.
I have felt helpless this last week, watching the mayhem and seeing South Africa implode. The destruction is so hard to see unfolding and fearing for my friends and family. And feeling so guilty not being there to help the communities and specifically, the little community where I was living. It’s such a helpless feeling, seeing the disaster unfold and being powerless to do anything.
This is when I’m really grateful for all the electronics and messaging systems we have available!
It’s pretty much the only way to keep in contact with anyone during the South African COVID-19 lockdown, and being on my own, it’s super important that I keep in contact and know that if one messaging system isn’t connecting, I have four others to try!
There’s a countdown clock on TV, clicking off the seconds until we go into lockdown here in South Africa. And this is a real lockdown, with pretty much no movement out of your house allowed. No going for walk, even alone. No jogging. No walking the dog. No take away food vendors or fast food or food deliveries. No veering off the path to the grocery store if you don’t want to be stopped by the police, backed up by the army. It’s pretty much martial law.
